The female point system

The Female Demerit System

In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy.
Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted.
You don't get any points for doing something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played.
Here is a non-exhaustive guide to the point system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget the decorative pillow (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets (-1)
You go out to buy her what she wants (+5) in the rain (+8)
But return with Beer (-5)
You check out a suspicious noise at night (+1)
You check out a suspicious noise, and it is nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something (+5)
You pummel it with iron rod (+10)
It's her pet (-20)

SOCIAL ENGAGEMENTS
You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with an old school friend (-2)
Named Tina (-10)
Tina is a dancer (-20)
Tina has silicone implants (-80)

HER BIRTHDAY
You take her out to dinner (+2)
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar (+3)
Okay, it's a sports bar (-2)
And it's all-you-can-eat night (-3)
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colours of your favourite team (-10)

A NIGHT OUT
You take her to a movie (+1)
You take her to a movie she likes (+3)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It's called 'Death Cop' (-3)
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to baggy jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Do I look fat?" (-5) (Yes, you lose points no matter what)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, "Where?" (-35)
Any other response (-20)

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
You listen, for over 30 minutes (+50)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500)
She realizes this because you have fallen asleep (-4000)

 

LOL good one Ken

 

I talked to one girl 2 nights straight just about random things. I guess i get +100000000000000000000

 

haha, great one Ken.

Tina has silicone implants (-80) ::LOL::

 

"You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too." (-8000)"

What's wrong with that, I do it

 

Points for women
She brings beer (+100)
She Brings beer naked (+1000)
she brings beer naked and do you after (+5000)
She doesnt say anything while all this happens (+10000)

 

You hold on to that fantasy.....

 

good one Ken ...

I love this one. (You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+500))

 

I think the point is everything usually is a deduction.

 

Damn good post ken. My girlfriend.and I cracked up to this.

 

great post, thanks for the laughs.

 

OOOOH, that explains why my tally is in the red