How do you get over a year long relationship?

Discussion in 'Detailing Bliss Lounge' started by Takumi587, Mar 16, 2009.

  1. Takumi587

    Takumi587 Birth of a Detailer

    Alright so I broke up with my gf start of feb... And now it is March and I am starting to feel regretful and dare i say it lonely. Was with her for about a year or more... I try to hang out with friends more often, hang out with some girl i just met (but who has a bf, so she is out of the equation), listen to positive music, reading more books, surfing the web more, closed down facebook, drive the car more, watch more movies AND **** I still can't stop feeling like shit.

    My friends told me to just not try anything until I am over the other girl and to just relax and whatever happens happens.

    I gotta admit long relationship break ups are hard as hell... Anyone else got any ideas I can try?

    I was thinking of going to a shooting range... but anyone else got other ideas where i don't have to get a license for and can be cheap?

    LOL the only reason i posted this in the off topic forum is because it would be interesting to hear other peoples stories of how they got over some of their own relationships.
  2. Jay J

    Jay J Birth of a Detailer

    :(..Hey man sorry to hear..I'm still bummed out over something that happened to my last year
  3. milabfocker

    milabfocker Jedi Nuba

    Unfortunately, there is no easy solution to the anguish you are experiencing. In my experience, time makes all the difference. Your break up was considerably recent; your reaction is natural. Additionally, establishing new relationships and spending time with loved ones is also beneficial. I wouldn't share any information regarding your recent relationship or anguish with any prospect girl friends, at least not initially. Attempt to recall some of the activities you enjoyed before the relationship and go do them. Sports, exercise, and detailing have always been therapeutic activities for me. Finally, seek advise and/or vent occasionally; there are plenty of good people on these forums who are willing to lend an ear.
  4. Denzil

    Denzil Guest

    The answer is time really. It will all eventually subside with time. Try spending more time with the family (if you get along with them) and friends. Also, try some new hobbies/activities or pursue some goals that you've always wanted to achieve.

    There are plenty of things to distract yourself from your recent breakup and in due time, all the negative effects will disappear. :)
  5. michakaveli

    michakaveli Welcome to Detailing

    One thing that helped me was to keep myself busy, i.e. on something that you need full attention of your melon (head). Anytime you have down time up there, it'll fall back on thinking about her. For example, detailing is a good exercise for this, as you need to stay focused not to cause any damage, i.e. when using a rotary machine, then you get consumed up into what you are doing and the final result. Key is to minimize the time your mind is idle. This is crucial @ 1st.... Listening to music that puts smile on your face, etc... This is a great time to be constructive with your thoughts. Apply this to your schooling, business, etc..

    Don't forget, it is what it is. Things happen for a reason.
  6. Dust2Glory

    Dust2Glory Nuba Guru

    If you know that isn't the girl you're going to marry then forget about her... that sounds kinda harsh, but if she's not then don't bother investing the time in remembering her. Ovbiously she's not the right one, and if she is then things have a way of working themselves out.

    It's very hard to break a bond with someone you've given yourself to.
  7. michakaveli

    michakaveli Welcome to Detailing

    Don't forget that there is SOOOO much more sweetness out there :thud:
  8. B.Prug87

    B.Prug87 Guest

    i feel ya man.I broke it off finally for the 3rd time after 3 years of being dumped by my first love.Best thing 2 do is cut contact for awhile.My ex recently ended up dating douche bags and hanging out with loosers which actually makes me feel even better about breaking up with her.I realize i can do much better and im better off with out her.dont be in a rush 2 find someone new.Just go out with the guys and have a good time.Once i realized i can enjoy myself when im single i started 2 get over takes time but just count your blessings and once u realize how lucky u are ull pull around and ull laugh about this when you get over it.
  9. michakaveli

    michakaveli Welcome to Detailing

    Another thing, to back up would another forum member said. DON'T be in a rush to find a replacement. My luck has always been that anytime I was NOT looking for anything "serious", something popped up and ended up a happy camper, for the time :support:
  10. 68Stang

    68Stang Birth of a Detailer

    Think of it as emancipation. :)
  11. Takumi587

    Takumi587 Birth of a Detailer

    wow all the support you guys have given me so far make me feel good to know that I am not alone feeling this way.

    I mean just reading these posts actually made me step out of that regretful feeling.

    I guess it will take time and I am just going to try and take all of your advice so far and find some newfound hobby. I guess I should start getting back into detailing and discovering forms of work...

    Thx so far for the support.
  12. MadOzodi

    MadOzodi Nuba Guru

    Do everything everyone else above has said, but also make time for drinkin and ho's (don't forget your jimmyhat for cripes sake either!).

    Ask yourself feel like shit but think about what made you break up with her in the first you really want to have to expend the emotional effort dealing with that anymore?
  13. supercharged

    supercharged DB Forum Supporter

    True that. If you are looking at a woman just to get laid, that might be the problem...
  14. TheJag

    TheJag Birth of a Detailer

    thats weird man, i'm going through the same thing actually, me and my ex were dating for about a year and a half and we split up in early february. what really helped me was keeping busy and getting rid of all the crap that reminded me of her, pictures, presents, stuff like that. If you're with somebody that long you'll always have a sort of place for them in your heart and certain songs or movies and crap will make you miss them but what you need to remember is that there was a reason for the breakup, if you were fighting or not treating each other right then you werent right for each other, and every relationship that fails is just a buildup for the one that really works, so you can figure out what you like and dont like. Hope this helps man, and i hope everything works out for you, stay strong, your family here on detailing bliss cares!
  15. Takumi587

    Takumi587 Birth of a Detailer

    I got you on the part about every song and movie can make you nostalgic... Seriously every time i hear a song she loved I gotta change it right away! I hope you are doing good yourself because when V-day came along I was like "damn it." haha

    I might just work on going to the gym more often i guess. I hear that is a great way to get stuff off your mind.
  16. blas

    blas Birth of a Detailer

    keep your mind busy!
    read books, learn new things, watch movies (dont watch romance movies), dont drink alcohol every day and remember u can wash your car every day!
  17. Buddy

    Buddy Getting to know Detailing

    There is alot of great advise here. Just try to remember to do the best you can and thats all you can do in a situation like this...Good luck...:thumb:
  18. ScottieB

    ScottieB Jedi Nuba

    I would agree with Dust. You stated you broke up with her. Then it must be what you wanted. Attitude is everything in life. But I know it is hard to change it. But you can. My beliefs are brake up are a good thing. It was not working, so it was time to move on. You probably learned a few things about yourself in the time you spent with her. You can use the experience to make your next relationship a little bit better.
    On a selfish note, you only have to feed yourself for a while. Spend your money on you. What detail supplies have you been wanting?
  19. Reflect

    Reflect DB Forum Supporter

    I've found the guys on here have some pretty damn good advice. The best thing I find that helps in such situations, or any situations for that matter, is to try to remove yourself from it. Not burning bridges and denying it, but put yourself in a third person perspective. Ask yourself....why am I upset? Try to be a nihilist about it, it really helps. Don't physically disconnect yourself from it, do it subconsciously. You can't take life this seriously. After all, we never get out alive. It's all about control. I don't know if you like philosophy or not but I found this piece to be pretty interesting, I think the guy is an amateur philosopher. Obviously, with anything, you should take people's opinions and literature in stride, but it does bring about some interesting points....

    Life 2.0: The little book of Flow - revised

    And good luck .
  20. pektel

    pektel DB Forum Supporter

    The trap most people fall into after a breakup is only remembering the positive things. I mean, remember the ENTIRE relationship. Not just the good stuff. When I broke up with the last girlfriend, I was depressed fora while, because I only remembered the positive things. Then I thought, "you know what, she was a real bitch to me most of the time." When I actually looked at it from a REALISTIC standpoint, instead of just "reminiscing", I realized I was better off without her. I mean, you guys broke up for a reason right? You didn't break up because everything was super happy fun right?

    On a lighter note, this was the advice I was given: "Nothing gets you over the last one like the next one"

    I agree with MadOdozi... time for some drinkin and hoes. I know it sounds shallow, but getting out there and realizing that other women are interested will make you feel better about yourself, and your new situation - being single!

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